Afflictions of the Heart
by sweetbubblegum
Summary: Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger's secret relationship meant more to them than they realised. Too bad they realised it after they broke up. Takes place in HBP. Full summary inside.
1. Prologue

**Title: **Afflictions of the Heart

**Author: **Tiffany

**Summary: **Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger had a secret relationship but for their own reasons. Draco, because he wanted to make someone else's life hell instead of his. Hermione, because she wanted to find out what Draco was hiding. However, after the two break up, they realise they lose a lot more than what they gained from the break up.

**Quick Note: **_Most things in italics are memories and for the first few chapters, there will be quite a number of memories. Present thoughts are also in italics. _I believe that I will rapidly shift point of views from Draco to Hermione and vise versa, so I apologise for any inconvenience. However, the pint of views will be in third person. For example, _Hermione felt a tug pull at her heart._

**Request: **Enjoy!

**:Prologue:**

Hermione Granger touched the wooden table. So smooth. So cold. So exposed. Lightly tracing the textured lines, she glanced around the dungeon.

It was bare. Empty. No-one was around. She was very aware of her own breathing, own heart beat. Everything was silent and Hermione felt as if her presence was destroying the peace.

Hermione's honey-coloured eyes stared at the dungeon door. It was the passage that stopped those entering this peace, and those exiting.

…………………………………………..

_Hermione cursed as she picked up her books that fell onto the ground. Why did she carry a mountain full of books again?_

_Brushing her skirt lightly when she stood up, Hermione was shocked when she came face-to-face to Draco Malfoy._

_She had never really been that close to Draco before. And she was glad about that. For Draco was _breathtaking_ up-close._

_The two probably started off at the same height in First Year but now, well now, he was about half a feet taller than her._

_This caused him to look (well _glare_ was more like it) down at her so his white-blonde hair to fall carelessly down, so it seemed to shimmer silver in front of his molten gray eyes._

_And his eyelashes. Why should such a guy be so lucky to have such long, pretty eyelashes? They weren't white-blonde like his hair but the lightest brown, like the perfect toffee._

_Had Draco always been this good-looking?_

"_You're in my way." Hermione decided to speak and she equalled his glare._

"_You were looking at me the whole Potions lesson," Draco hissed._

_Had Draco always had such a deep, goose-bumping voice?_

"_Well, you wouldn't know if you didn't look at _me_," Hermione hissed back._

_Hermione thought about her words. Therefore, Draco must've been looking at her. Looking at _her_! Argh! Why didn't she put more effort in the way she dressed? But then again, it wasn't like she imagined Draco would ever look at _her_._

_The reason why she kept constantly looking at Draco was because her two best friends, Harry Potter and Ron Weasley, _still _believed that he was up to something mischievous in the Room of Requirements. Hermione couldn't imagine what and every time she glanced at him, she felt puzzled and what it could be._

"_Well next time, don't look at me. You're not worthy to a Pureblood, you have no hope of ever getting a Pureblood," Draco growled._

_Why was he telling her that? Didn't he think that perhaps she already knew that when every time he referred to her it was 'Mudblood'?_

"_I wouldn't want to stain the perfect blood," Hermione snapped. "You can marry all the other Purebloodettes left. Just to let you know, I don't support incest relationships. But then again, why would my opinion count?"_

_Draco glowered at her. Sure, he was rather menacing towering over her but the reason why Hermione's heart was beating faster was because he was very good-looking. So looks aren't everything. But it is _something_._

"_Why were you looking at me?"_

"_Why are you talking to me?"_

_Draco hissed again and raised a wand-free arm as if to hit her. Hermione didn't even flinch. She was holding her wand in her hand and she had even mastered some non-verbal spells. She wasn't scared of Draco._

"_If I ever catch you looking at me again, I'll…I'll make sure you cry Mudblood tears," Draco threatened._

_No matter how many times he called her that, it still cut her to the bone each time he said it. Only he and his cronies would ever call her 'Mudblood'. But only his words would hurt her. She hadn't really figured out why yet. _

"_You are being so immature," Hermione scoffed. "Since when did it matter who looked at whom? And if you want to threaten me, I'll rip your perfect Pureblood face."_

_Draco's anger flare swiftly left his face only to be replaced by a blank look._

"_Perfect?" Draco repeated, hollowly. "You think my face is perfect?"_

_Argh! Why was it that he picked up on things that didn't matter but what does matter, he doesn't even notice?! And great. Now what does he think? Sure, he had a perfectly good-looking face but…it was a Pureblood face._

"_I'm Muggle-born. Go work your charms on a Purebloodette," Hermione muttered prodding her wand sharply into his shoulder. "Move, Malfoy."_

_Of course he never listened to her._

_With his left hand, he grabbed hold of her wand and tugged it out of her hand. Hermione was too mesmerised with how his gray eyes seemed to shift colours like clouds to realise he removed her wand._

"_HEY!" Hermione growled crossly, feeling the slightest twinge of fear. _To be without a wand, is to be powerless_. Hermione had read that quote once, totally laughed at it, but now she actually felt powerless. "Give back my wand!" _

"_You don't need a wand to look at someone or talk to someone," Draco replied almost in a monotone voice. He also demonstrated this by withdrawing his wand and throwing it on the floor. It made a loud clanking noise as it joined Hermione's own wand._

_Hermione was no longer just feeling powerless but now also, scared. What was he planning?_

"_Why did we both look at each other?" Draco whispered as he took a step closer. Hermione felt frozen to the spot; she couldn't move. There was a fierce emotion in his eyes but she couldn't work out what it was. "Why are we talking to each other?"_

_Hermione's head was whirling. She didn't know whether it was a trick question and whether she was supposed to answer it. What was he up to??_

"_Kiss," Draco said huskily before forcibly grabbing her shoulders. The books that Hermione had so delicately picked up dropped back onto the floor._

_Draco had her in an instant backed up against the door as he explored her mouth with his own. Hermione had never had many kissing experiences (ahem, Krum and some skinny boy before she went to Hogwarts) but she knew that Draco was an excellent kisser. There were pixies (Muggles called it butterflies) whizzing in her stomach and she was sure she would've fell onto the floor if Draco wasn't holding her._

_After what felt like too soon, Draco released her. How could he so easily step back as if nothing happened? What did he mean by that?_

"_Kiss?" Hermione asked, scratchily. Her voice sounded broken and she could barely look at him. _

_She could never look at him the same. _He _kissed _her._ Two opposites. Good and evil. Mudblood and Pureblood. Gryffindor and Slytherin. _He_ was the one who united them._

_Even if it meant nothing to him, it meant everything to her._

"_Is a kiss what you implied that we wanted?"_

_Draco shrugged his shoulders and picked up the wands. He threw Hermione's to her and she barely caught it. She was aware that she was shaking slightly._

"_It's what it leads to," Draco answered shortly. He glanced at Hermione's fallen books and picked it up. He made a motion as if to give it to her but then placed it on the front desk._

"_How does it end?" Hermione whispered._

_Draco met her eyes for a brief second before looking away._

"_Has it even started?"_

………………………………………………

Draco Malfoy looked around his stupid dorm and decided that everything was indeed very stupid.

Stupid posters. Stupid cheap beds. Stupid blurry windows. Stupid coarse carpets. Stupid old wardrobes. Stupid EVERYTHING!

Draco kicked the stupid chair and that's when the cushion fell off the chair and everything came flooding back.

………………………………………………

"_Why are you laughing?" Draco asked, a tad bit annoyed. No-one ever laughed at him. Including his dorm. It wasn't like he had a choice on the furniture Hogwarts imported._

"_I just feel so…so NAUGHTY!" Hermione hiccupped with laughter as she fell onto his neatly-made bed. Draco felt something twitch inside him watching Hermione Granger sprawled across his bed._

"_What kind of naughty?" Draco suggested with a smirk._

_Hermione immediately stopped laughing and sat up straight._

"_Like the naughty when you slyly past all the Slytherins to go into your dorm," Hermione said with a scowl. She looked around his room and picked up a plush, red cushion. "You're such a guy."_

_She threw the cushion at him but he easily caught it._

"_And you're such a girl," Draco said copying her dry humour. "So why are you laughing?"_

"_I just felt hysterical that I could sneak past all them. I never thought that I would," Hermione replied._

"_Be in Draco Malfoy's dorm?" he asked._

"_Yeah," Hermione said and than a tender look passed her eye. "And be happy at the same time."_

_Hermione Granger was happy. When she was in _his_ room. Was he the cause of the happiness? Since when could he make someone happy?_

"_Well, I never thought so too," Draco said. Happy included but to hell would he tell her that. "But I'm not laughing."_

"_You only laugh at people," Hermione said rolling her eyes. "Why? Does my laugh disturb you or something?"_

"_No," Draco replied truthfully. He sat down next to her on the bed and pulled her close to him. Hermione wrapped an arm around his waist and laid her head on his shoulder._

"_Draco, I want to tell you something," she whispered placing with the collar of his robes._

_Great. His most favourite words to hear. It was always warning for: I have something to tell you, and it's bad. He'd been used to for his entire life. But he didn't want to hear anything bad from Hermione's mouth because for once, it would hurt him._

"_Then tell," he said, shifting slightly so she couldn't reach his collar. It was distracting._

_Hermione pulled away and then grabbed both his hands in hers. She looked squarely into his eyes and the emotion in her eyes was intense._

"_I love you, Draco Malfoy. I know it's only been a month since we started whatever we did, but I love you. I've never been happier in my life and I would sacrifice anything for you to be happy."_

_For the first time in his life, he had nothing to say. This was _not_ what he was expecting. He thought she would break off whatever it was that they were. Not this. Not something like this. Never in his mind…she was probably lying. Yeah, she must be. How could anyone even say they _love_ him? He was imperfect. And she was perfect. How could someone perfect love someone who was imperfect?_

"_You look shocked," Hermione said with a smile, releasing one of his hands to trace his face. She didn't look like she was expecting anything in return. Why not? Everyone seek to be loved and she sure as hell deserved to be loved._

"_Why should I be?" Draco asked, finally finding his voice. "You are a Gryffindor. Brave. Fearless. You always say what's on your mind."_

_Hermione's smile widened._

"_And you're a Malfoy. Malfoys don't love."_

_The way she said it, it twisted in his heart. It was the very thing he said after their second kiss. But it was just a generalisation not the truth. That was how everyone perceived the Malfoys. _

"_And you don't expect me to," Draco said, his voice slightly scratchy. That was what she said after he made his statement._

"_Exactly," she said, her smile developing into a grin. She leaned forward and pecked him lightly on the lips._

_What she didn't realise was that he did. He loved her too._

…………………………………………………

"You look like a ghost," Ron Weasley said as he took a seat next to her in the dungeons. He moved closer to inspect her face. "What happened to you?"

_Draco Malfoy broke my heart. DRACO!_ _It was a laugh. Who would've thought that _Draco_ would break her heart?_

"Nothing, I'm fine," Hermione replied, mustering a smile.

"You sure?" Harry Potter asked, taking the other vacant seat next to Hermione. "Our detention with Snape doesn't start until seven and you're hear way early. We were waiting for you and then Ginny told us that you had already left."

Damn that redhead. She probably spoke in a way that made her look concerned as if there was something wrong with Hermione. There wasn't.

"I forgot," Hermione lied.

This was the reason why she wanted to leave everyone. They all talked too much. Can't she just have some alone-time?

"Are you sure you're okay?" Ron asked with a frown.

Was there an answer to satisfy his question? If she said yes, he wouldn't believe her. If she said no, he would ask her what's wrong. It was a no-win situation.

"Yeah," Hermione said, reaching over and squeezing his hand. His hand was so warm whereas her hand felt like ice. "It's nothing big. Nothing to worry about. Just girl issues."

………………………………………………

"Just afflictions of the heart," Draco whispered as he looked at a portrait he drew of Hermione.

He raised his wand and sent the portrait into flames. That's what she did to his heart.


	2. The Secrets You HideTo Protect

**A Little Reference: **Okay…I have planned out the entire story so I know how it's all going to end and so on. However, I believe to make this story effective the start is pretty slow because of background information (I just can't make it that exciting!) So please, stick around until the good stuff happens. :) I promise by Chapter Three, it gets pretty good.

Also, up to Chapter Seven, there will be flashbacks, which are in _italics_. These flashbacks are NOT in chronicle order; they are just what the main characters are thinking of in the present.

**Chapter One: The Secrets You Hide…To Protect**

"Are you sure you're 'fine'?" Harry asked for the millionth time that day. He had a playful smile on his face as if to pretend he was only jokingly asking but Hermione could see the concern in his emerald eyes.

"Yes," Hermione said with a sigh. "It's getting tiring with you keep pestering me about it. What could I possibly be worried about?"

Both her best friends frowned. After spending approximately six years with them both, Hermione was able to read them like any other book. They only thought that she worried about school work, friends, family and Lord Voldemort. They never would dream she would be worried about boys. BOYS! As if _Hermione Granger _had time to think about boys. When she was having her problems with Viktor, she only told Ron and Harry once but decided it was best not to tell them again since they were insensitive boys who snickered at Viktor calling her 'Hermy'.

But then again Hermione never had any other boy problems until recently. Like who exactly could she have told? About Draco Malfoy. Harry and Ron would most like kill him or her or perhaps kill both of them together. Ginny Weasley has also told her some of her boy problems and welcomed Hermione to tell hers as well, but there was no way she could tell Ginny about Draco.

No-one would understand. She wasn't sure if she understood it herself.

Hermione jumped back when Snape walked into the room and slammed the dungeon door behind him so it echoed through Hermione's head. Snape stalked across the room and peered down at them from his hooked nose.

"So…" he sneered. "Sneaking past hours once again. Now tell me, why were you hovering around Hogwards at three in the morning and especially at the Slytherin area when we all know the three of you are in 'brave' Gryffindor?"

Ron guiltily looked down at his hands, Hermione avoided his gaze but Harry stared straight into the black eyes. Harry was the one true Gryffindor.

"This is a detention. You're not here to interrogate us, you're here to hand out a detention," Harry spoke calmly.

Snape gave a hissing sound and moved closer.

"I'll be watching what I say, Potter. We both know that's not the only sneaking around you do," Snape drawled. Hermione noticed that Harry seemed to stiffen slightly. Was Harry hiding something too? "So tell me _what were the three of you up to?!_"

This time Harry joined Ron as he looked down at his own hands. Hermione didn't feel like looking at her hands…not when her hands couldn't touch Draco again.

Draco. That's why the three of them were sneaking around that night. According to the Marauder's Map, Draco was not in his dorm and her best friends thought it was best that they waited until he came back so they would disarm him and interrogate him.

That night (well technically _morning_ since it was 3AM), was just six hours since Draco and Hermione decided to quit their relationship. She really hoped that she didn't see him, since she was sure she would burst into tears and could never harm him in any way, and was glad when Snape found them. The Invisibility Cloak was just too small for the three of them now.

Hermione shifted her gaze onto the dungeon door. The first and last place Draco ever kissed her.

……………………………………………

"_Don't you think Snape thinks it's a bit weird that you're eager to go to your Remedial Potions class?" Hermione teased as Draco stepped through the Dungeon door._

"_He would but I pretend I hate this," Draco said as he pulled her close._

_The two of them could never be close enough. Never. Not enough time. Not enough acceptance. Not enough of each other. Always having to meet in secret. It wasn't fair._

"_You're pretending, huh?" Hermione whispered as she traced his strong jaw. Such silk._

"_You know I am," he whispered back and crashed his mouth down on her waiting ones._

You know I am_. Yes, sometimes she thought that perhaps maybe Draco could feel the slightest love that she had for him. She was sure she was one of the few people he had opened the most of himself to, if not the only person. He had hinted the difficulties he had at home and with his friends as well._

_Although her eyes were closed as she enjoyed herself melting into his embrace, Hermione could feel the earliest pricks of tears. She didn't want to ever lose Draco. But she knew that this could only be temporary. After they left Hogwarts, how could they meet again? It was already hard enough at Hogwarts even though they were always just about 100 metres from each other._

_Hermione reluctantly pulled back to gasp in some much needed oxygen. She would easily trade oxygen just for a kiss from Draco._

"_Are you crying?" Draco asked with a frown. He released one hand from her waist and lightly touched her cheek. "What's wrong?"_

"_Nothing," Hermione lied. She tried to smile reassuringly and pulled him closer. "I just missed you."_

_Well, that wasn't a lie. Every time he wasn't with her, the longing for him was practically unbearable. Only the memories she had of him would accompany her in her loneliness._

"_I bet," Draco said, removing his warm hand from her cheek to hug her back. "I missed you too."_

_There were very rare times when Draco expressed his affection through words. This was one of them. Draco was breaking this invisible barrier he had projected to the world to hide what he was feeling. Breaking this barrier…for her._

"_I feel bad that you have to flunk Potions just to meet me," Hermione said, feeling a twinge of guilt. She knew he was smart; she never taught him anything in these remedial classes. He could pass on his own. He was just pretending he was failing. For her. _

"_I would flunk all the other classes," Draco whispered into her hair, giving her a light squeeze. Warmth spread throughout her body._

"_Why don't you?" Hermione pondered._

_Draco let out a slight sigh and released her. She immediately felt cold. Draco rolled his eyes when he saw her hurt expression and pulled her down onto his lap as he took a seat._

"_That would be selfish of me. Sure, we would practically be seeing each other when we don't have classes. You won't have time to do your schoolwork or have a social life. And what if I don't get you for a tutor? I might be stuck with some Hufflepuff." _

_Hermione let out a short laugh. She was sure that Draco hated Gryffindors more, but for her sake, he would just say Hufflepuff._

"_I wouldn't mind if I got to spend more time with you," Hermione replied. Twice a week for remedial potion classes, one – sometimes two - in secret, letters in-between…it was nowhere near enough._

"_I know, but I still have my ego. I can't be perceived as the dumbest wizard in school," Draco said, sounding slightly apologetic. _

_Hermione totally understood that. She knew he was one of the brightest wizard and for him to sacrifice that for her…that was already a big deal._

"_Draco and his pride," Hermione teased._

_Draco rolled his eyes and bent down to kiss her lightly on the mouth._

_This was why Draco was perfect. He equally spread out the time for them to make-out and for them to talk._

"_We could always go in the Room of Requirements," Hermione said quietly._

_She felt Draco stiffen from beneath her and she felt herself being drained from blood. Harry's suspicion must be true then. Draco must be hiding something in the Room of Requirements. Never once had he suggested they go there, and never once had she. Until now._

"_Do you know how it works?" Draco asked. His grip on her had loosened._

_Hermione stared into his fathomless grey eyes. They were no longer cold steel but confused hazy storms. She knew she trusted Draco but didn't know to what extent. How much could she tell him?_

"_You think of the room you want and walk past the entrance three times and the door will appear," Hermione said truthfully. It wasn't like she could ever read all of Draco's thoughts to think of what he does when he wanted to go into the Room of Requirements. It wasn't like one day she would uncover the secret Harry was so persistent to reveal._

_Draco didn't reply._

"_We could meet there every so often," Hermione said carefully._

"_If that's what you want," Draco said shortly. He quickly pushed her off and stood up. "How often do you want to meet up? Every free chance we have?"_

"_No!" Hermione said with a sigh. Why was he short-tempered all of a sudden? "We could meet there instead of sneaking around the school. It's just more convenient."_

"_Oh, I forgot," Draco said sarcastically. "Hermione Granger doesn't like to break rules. She seeks for a perfect life where abiding rules is what she does."_

"_Why are you being such a prick all of a sudden?" Hermione growled. She could cry but she didn't want to look vulnerable. One of them had to be strong._

"_Isn't that who I always am anyway? Draco Malfoy: slimeball, ferret, coward," Draco snapped, his eyes blazing._

"_We all have labels!" Hermione shouted and to her dismay, tears filled her eyes. "These labels are from what you hear from others; you realise they're all false when you get to know the person."_

"_I'm sure those labels intensified from your friends," Draco snarled._

"_Leave Harry and Ron out of this!" Hermione snapped. She could not stand it when he dissed her best friends. She knew he wasn't perfect either and he wasn't making their lives easier._

"_Just because your little friends follow the orders of their princess it doesn't mean I will. I will NEVER be like them," Draco hissed._

"_I'm not asking you to!" Hermione yelled in frustration. She had no idea how their conversation became like this. Never had they yelled after their first kiss._

"_Whatever you think of me, I am not stupid. I know your friends are following me and sometimes you join them too," Draco yelled back._

"_Only because you brought something from Borgin and Burkes!"_

_As soon as she said it, Hermione gasped. That wasn't supposed to come out. Draco's face was twisted in anger and betrayal._

"_Draco," Hermione whispered pleadingly, taking a step closer._

"_How much do you know?" Draco asked, his face void of emotion._

"_Not much, I swear," Hermione said as tears freely fell from her face. "That's why we're all following you. We know you're hiding something in the Room of Requirements but we're not sure what. We're also certain it has something to do with You-Know-Who."_

_Draco swore and punched a table. Hermione let out a yelp in shock. Oh, Draco…_

"_So this was just a ploy, wasn't it?" Draco asked venomously. "A little Mudblood kissing the ass of a Pureblood so he'll confess his sins?"_

"_No, of course not!" Hermione protested, horrified at his words. Sure, there were times where she thought she could ask him what he was hiding, but that was never the intention when she first agreed to their relationship. "Draco, I love you!"_

_Draco hissed something and pushed her against the dungeon door. Soon, his lips were upon hers. He was ravishing her as if he had starved his whole life and wanted some salvation. Hermione moaned in pleasure and returned his eagerness as _he_ was her salvation._

_Draco pulled away and gave her the iciest look._

"_I believed in you, Granger," he jeered. Granger. He hadn't called her that for a long time but it was better than Mudblood. "But you're just like everyone else."_

"_No, wait, Draco – "_

_Draco shook his head and walked out the dungeon, slamming the door behind him._

_Hermione fell down onto the floor and cried her heart out._

………………………………………………

"You look pathetic," Draco scoffed as Pansy Parkinson sat huddled at his door, cuddling her knees close.

He absolutely hated people looking fetal. That was for the weak. It absolutely annoyed the hell out of him.

"There's a spider out there," she whispered through dry lips. "You know I'm terrified of them."

"There's none in here, so there's no need to sit like a frightened child," Draco said flatly.

Pansy shot him a dirty look. Like anything she did would even hurt him.

"Just because you're not scared of anything."

…………………………………………

_Draco laughed as Hermione scowled at him from the top of his bed as the cockroach scurried across his floor. He stepped closer to it and casted a spell to squash the life out of it._

"_DRACO!" Hermione exclaimed in shock. "You're not supposed to kill it!"_

"_As if I want to touch a slimy bug," Draco scoffed. He jumped onto his bed and hugged her. "Don't need to be scared now."_

"_You have to touch it when you clean it up," Hermione pointed out as she continued trembling in his arms. "Eww. Draco! It looks even worse than before!"_

"_House elves work and don't look at it, you silly girl, look at me," Draco said giving a short laugh._

_Hermione pulled back at arms-lengths and pouted._

"_You know I'm the creator of S.P.E.W, right?" she demanded._

"_Yes, and I'm so with S.P.E.W," Draco smiled. "I'll clean it up, if you want. You can stop looking over there, I'm here."_

"_It's okay," Hermione said as she pulled his face down. "I don't want your hands full of cockroach germs when you touch me."_

"_Right answer," Draco whispered back. _

……………………………………………

"Wrong answer," Snape snarled at Harry. "I'm sure you were all _sleepwalking_."

Ron coughed to hide his snicker and Snape turned his beetle eyes at him.

"Sick, Weasley? Perhaps you can go back to your dorm," Snape hissed.

Ron looked up hopefully then looked guiltily at Harry and Hermione. Hermione knew he wouldn't leave them but she understood why someone would want to escape the wrath of Severus Snape.

"Quiet today, Granger?" Snape asked, paying his full attention to Hermione. "No remedial classes today?"

Hermione felt something inside of her clench. Yes. Now Draco was excelling in Potions that he could actually be better than her.

"What classes?" Harry asked with a frown.

Hermione avoided both Harry and Ron's confused gazes. She had not told anyone about the classes she had with Draco.

"Potter, Weasley," Snape said in a silky voice. "Please leave Granger with me as I have something to discuss with her."

"No!" Ron protested standing up. "We're not leaving her with _you_!"

"What are you suggesting?" Snape inquired, raising an eyebrow. Ron immediately turned red. "Leave us now, are you disobeying my orders? That'll be more detentions."

Harry stood up and placed a hand on Hermione's shoulder and gave it a gently squeeze.

"We'll be outside," Harry said softly. He glared at Snape. "Come on, Ron."

Ron gave Hermione an apologetic look and left the dungeon with Harry.

"So," Snape said once the boys left. "Why don't you have any remedial classes with Malfoy anymore?"

Hermione willed her face to stay neutral. No way was she going to be stripped raw by Snape.

"You're the teacher, you can see that Malfoy is now excelling in Potions," Hermione said flatly.

"So…he just seemed to grasp the concept one day?" Snape pressed on, his tone disbelieving.

"I'm an excellent teacher," Hermione replied.

Snape paused and bored his black eyes into hers as if trying to read into her soul.

"Why didn't you tell Potter or Weasley?" Snape asked.

"I don't need anymore people pestering me about Malfoy," Hermione snapped.

"Why would they be pestering you? Who else is pestering you?" Snape asked quickly, slightly losing his calm and patience. He turned the slightest pink when he realised his eagerness and let out a little cough. "We are talking about Draco Malfoy. What could he offer to a…Gryffindor?"

"This is not an interrogation!" Hermione snapped once again, her patience running out. She didn't want to talk about Draco Malfoy again and again. She stood up. "This is not a detention."

"Fine, go," Snape whispered as Hermione scurried for the door. "Detention dismissed. We all have secrets, Granger. There are only secrets if there's something to hide."

Hermione paused and looked back at Snape who was sneering at her. She really hated him.

"There are only secrets if there's something to protect."


	3. They Just Can't Replace You

**Chapter Two: They Just Can't Replace You**

Hermione slammed the door behind her and willed herself not to break down in tears. A part of her just wanted to take the easy way out and slide down back onto the floor and release her emotions but she didn't want to be portrayed as weak. She had vowed that she would never cry over a boy again and no way was she going to cry over Snape's words.

"Hermione?"

Hermione jumped at Harry's tender voice. She had forgotten that he and Ron were waiting for her outside.

"Harry!" Hermione exclaimed, mustering all the happiness she could to smile. She straightened her back and looped an arm through his and Ron's. She slowly led them to their Gryffindor tower. "Detention dismissed."

"What did he say?" Ron asked quietly. Hermione didn't have to look at him to know that he was very concerned and possibly angry. She had learned to read her best friend's emotions through their voice.

"Uh…something not important. He just…is suspicious that my pupil no longer needs me to be his tutor," Hermione said, trying to mumble as much as possible so her speech wasn't articulate. It's just she was a horrible liar and she knew the two of them could pick it up easily.

"How come you never told us you were tutoring someone?" Harry asked, a frown evident in his hurt voice.

"Because it wasn't important," Hermione lied. Because it was Draco. Because there was no tuition classes. Because it was the most important thing.

"Who was it?" Ron asked, slight jealousy evident in his too-casual voice.

"Laius Grenzak," Hermione lied once again. She was glad the three of them were walking so her best friends couldn't see her flushed face. She was just picking the least bright student she knew and also a student she knew Harry and Ron would not know.

"Who is that?" Ron asked, sounding even more jealous.

"Hufflepuff," Harry answered before Hermione could speak. "I've seen him spilling potions numerous times; he is definitely not talented in Potions. I don't see why you didn't tell us about it, Hermione. It would explain all the times you'd disappeared."

Crap, crap, crap. Harry wasn't supposed to know who he was!

"Do you _like _him?" Ron asked, definitely sounding jealous. "Is that why you didn't tell us?"

"No!" Hermione sighed. No way could she _like_ someone for awhile after she fell in love with Draco.

She had to think of something to say to ensure they did not question Laius and for them to respect her choice not to tell them. Heck, she was the smartest witch in school yet she was struggling to think of something to say!

"It's just…I try to be nice to everyone but Laius is so quiet and seems to not like me. I felt stupid tutoring someone who didn't even want to be friends with me," Hermione explained.

"Perhaps he has some problems," Harry said wistfully. "Would you like me to talk to him?"

"No!" Hermione said quickly. Noticing how quick her response was, she turned the slightest shade of pink. She noticed Ron turning his head to look at her. "That's embarrassing. He didn't want to be tutored anymore and he might think I like him or something if you ask him why he doesn't communicate well with me."

"Are you sure you don't like him?" Ron asked suspiciously.

"_Yes_," Hermione said, pinching his arm so he yelped. "I clearly do not like Laius."

"And…Snape wanted to talk to you alone about that and just easily let us off?" Ron asked, still sounding suspicious.

"I don't know how his mind works!" Hermione exclaimed. "Perhaps he can't think of anymore ways to torture us."

Hermione could feel Ron tensing beside her to ask more questions but Harry cut off.

"Leave it, Ron, who cares about Laius. What's important is Malfoy," Harry said tiredly.

Oh, no. Hermione could feel dread spreading throughout her body. It seemed as if she could never escape Draco. It didn't matter if she left class before she had to look at him or that she didn't talk to him anymore, there was always talk about him.

"Who cares about _him_?" Ron scoffed. "He just probably hides in the Room of Requirement to cry about his miserable life so no-one could see him crying."

That was the bad thing about falling in love with someone. There was always the need to defend them and the trouble of trying not to wince when you hear them in pain. Even if it might not be true, the thought of your loved one in pain was unbearable.

Harry looked around them and then lowered his voice.

"I've noticed that he hasn't been in the Room for about a week," he whispered.

A week. A week since he and Hermione yelled at each other and broke if off. A week already that she hadn't felt his breath, his heart beat, his kiss. It seemed forever.

"Why are you stalking him?" Ron scoffed.

"I'm not," Harry said with a scowl. "He's up to something and you know it too. He's obviously meddling with the Dark Arts and he could succeed."

Harry stopped and removed his arm from Hermione's suddenly tight grasp. Crap. Hopefully he wouldn't ask her why she was clinging on him for dear life. However, it was worse than that. He took out the Map.

The Marauder's Map. She had never told Draco about it but sometimes she feared about it every day. She knew that every time she caught up with Draco, there was always a chance that Harry would take out the map to check on Draco. That was why she always had to hide the Map before she caught up with Draco only to return it when her encounter was over. Draco always joked that she was sometimes late for him, without realising it was all because of him.

Harry looked at the Marauder's Map and rolled his eyes.

"In his dorm with Parkinson," he said with a sigh. "I should let that slimeball enjoy his privacy."

Hermione felt an icy hand clench around her heart. He was puncturing her heart so she was bleeding love. There was no way he cared about her then if he could sink to such a low to already be with someone. She couldn't imagine herself kissing anyone else but him.

As Harry folded the map, Hermione saw that Draco was definitely not alone in his dorm. Pansy Parkinson was with him. Pansy Parkinson.

………………………………………………

"_Do you have to keep saying her name?" Draco groaned as walked across his dorm to take a seat at his desk._

"_Just admit you liked PANSY PARKINSON and I will," Hermione said smugly from upon his bed._

_Although she knew she was looking smug, Hermione felt her insides squirm. She knew it was impossible for Draco _not_ to like someone before her but she still felt jealous of any girls Draco had liked. And Pansy! No matter how annoying she was, Hermione had to admit Pansy was very good-looking. And sometimes Draco could be shallow._

"_But I never liked her!" Draco protested._

"_You're always around her," Hermione pointed out, trying not to sound jealous. It was sad and frustrating that Pansy could easily talk to Draco out in public and she couldn't._

"_As you to Potter and Weasley," Draco shot back._

"_Fine, so you _don't_ like Pansy. She always boast about doing 'this' and doing 'that' with you," Hermione said, sure that she sounded like a jealous, possessive girlfriend. She wasn't even sure she was his girlfriend._

"_I can't help I'm drop dead gorgeous," Draco said with a careless shrug. "You know Pansy. She just wants everyone to think she's getting it on with all the good-looking guys and I'm the best."_

"_So you didn't and don't like Pansy?" Hermione asked slowly. He sure looked like he was telling the truth but he was used to hiding his feelings._

"_She is annoying and clingy. And yeah, I did hook up with her in the past, just to satisfy men needs, but that doesn't mean I liked her. Are you jealous?"_

_Hermione watched as his face turned from careless to sudden interest. He then smirked, realising it must be true. Hermione knew she must be a hideous colour of red. It was unfair to be fair-skinned sometimes. Draco was too, however he was NEVER red, just the faintest pink._

"_I just don't like Pansy," Hermione said truthfully. Pansy was the Slytherin Princess – the first choice anyone would pick who would suit Draco._

"_I don't like Potter or Weasley and I'm not jealous," Draco continued to smirk. He got up from his chair and moved closer to the bed. "We never clarified whether this relationship had strings attached."_

_The possible humour in the conversation diminished. No. Strings. Attached. Did that mean…? Was Draco…? Had Draco been screwing someone the entire time? Was the relationship he had with her just a laugh?_

"_We don't need another Hogwarts ghost," Draco smirked once again as he cradled her face gently in his hands. "You don't have to turn practically _transparent."

_How could all the times he touched her as if she was fragile glass be a figment in his mind as he jeered at another girl? How could he confide the darkest secrets with her and forget when he talked with another girl?_

"_You see, I don't like to share," Draco said as he gently stroked her cheeks with his thumbs. They were so smooth despite how he played Quidditch and was exposed to frayed wood all the time. Harry and Ron's hands were quite coarse but Draco's were like silk. "So I prefer, no I _request_, that you are not with any other guy when you're with me."_

"_I'm not making babies with another guy!" Hermione said hotly. She didn't want him to touch her but his touch could be so soothing sometimes._

_Draco actually had the indecency to laugh._

"_I'm glad, or else the babies will be fatherless," Draco grinned, as he removed his right hand to touch her flat stomach. "If you ever need to make babies, I'm the only guy who should be involved."_

_Hermione glared at him. The topic sex had came up about once or twice and somehow she always was the one who brought up the topic. She had told him (well more like telling it into the pillow while he sat next to her) that she was a virgin and Draco sincerely (!) told that he'd be ready when she was. He hadn't told her he was a virgin but she doubted he was. If he was, she would probably have a heart attack._

"_How many babies do you want to look after?" Hermione scowled._

"_Just yours," Draco whispered as his fingers drew delicious motions on her stomach. "However, if you want to try to make a baby, I recommend using some form of protection. I'm in no position to be the perfect father yet."_

"_What about some babies sprouting out due to all the girls you're bonking?" Hermione asked, rather harshly._

_A look of total confusion crossed Draco's handsome features._

"_Do you seriously believe I could be with any other girl when there's you?" he accused, looking slightly shocked._

"_Well…" Hermione started, reframing herself from blurting "yes!" when Draco looked so bedazzled. "I don't know…"_

"_You're perfect," Draco whispered, as if that's the answer to any question she would ever ask him. _

_He snaked the hand that was on her stomach around her waist to pull her close. He gave her the sweetest kiss on her lips._

"_You're perfect," he repeated._

………………………………………………

"I know I am, so why do you keep telling me?" Draco snapped.

"You take offense when someone tells you you're perfect?" Pansy scoffed.

"I don't like being told things that I already know," Draco said with a glare.

"You've been prancing around for the last week as if you have a wand stuck up your arse," Pansy said with a scowl.

"Then why do you keep bugging me?" Draco snapped once again.

"I thought I could cheer you up!" Pansy yelled. "What happened to all the times you practically came into my room crying when your _daddy_ is mean?"

Draco felt the very last patience inside of him run out. How _dare_ she used that against him. All the times he was vulnerable and seeking some comfort. How _dare_ she.

"Get out," Draco commanded in a low voice. "You could never cheer me up; I thought you knew that."

"Draco, I'm sorry!" Pansy said quickly. "I didn't mean it to sound like that. It's just…it hurts to give and receive nothing."

Draco was silent. He knew that feeling. Sometimes he felt like he gave Hermione too much and all he received in return was shame and hurt.

"You should find someone who would give for free," Draco spoke quietly as he opened the door for her.

Pansy walked towards the door and looked up at him with tears in her big eyes.

"I would for you," she whispered as she walked out. "I am."

Draco clenched his jaw as he watched her walk down the stairs. Why is that people who didn't matter, care? But people who matter, didn't care?

………………………………………………….

"_Like who?" Hermione asked, looking concerned. She took his hands in her small ones and gave a comforting squeeze._

_Well, how was he supposed to tell her that she was definitely one of the few people who mattered to him? And it's not she _didn't_ care about him. He didn't know how he would take it if she didn't care about him._

"_My father," Draco said, looking away so she wouldn't see his embarrassment. "I do everything I can to make him happy but he doesn't seem to care about the pain I go through just to satisfy him."_

_Hermione let go of his hands to pull him into a hug._

"_Perhaps he's not used to showing affection," she whispered._

_Draco wondered whether that was directed to him or not. He knew he was not the best person to express his emotions but she had to know he cared for her. He had never been more open to anyone. It was always a great risk – a great fear – telling her something more about him. He was scared she'd judge him but she was always accepting. Even accepting _him_. All the times he thought she must've hated him…was it hate?_

_And on her statement, people show affection in different ways. Draco knew his father was affectionate to his mother by the gifts he would shower her. Including flowers. Flowers. It seemed to be such an easy thing to do but his mother was always so pleased by them. Lucius Malfoy would also take his wife out on expensive dinners and sometimes, expensive cruises. That was how Lucius Malfoy showed affection. By gifts._

_What had he given Draco? Nothing. He only buys his way to get through with Draco. He even buys his way through with strangers._

"_Perhaps," Draco lied. He didn't want to get into a deep, depressed conversation with Hermione. She deserved to only experience happiness._

"_You want to know how I show affection?" Hermione murmured seductively._

_Hermione had a huge heart. He had a feeling she was doing this to distract him from his misery. It wasn't like he would ever take advantage of her. He would never abuse her like that._

"_For sure," Draco said, unable to resist her red lips and her sweet aroma._

…………………………………………_._

It seemed like for the last week Draco was unable to resist his hunger. Ever since Hermione left him (he so did not push her away), food was replacing her. Not that it satisfied him. He would easily never eat again just for Hermione to hug him one more time.

Draco looked guiltily at the girls' quarter as he exited the Slytherin Common Room. He felt guilty that he couldn't give Pansy what she wanted but not everyone has a happily ever after.

He turned the corner to head in the direction of the Dining Hall when he saw who was causing all his problems this week.

Hermione Granger.


	4. Duty Calls

**Chapter Three: Duty Calls**

Hermione realised that she had not taken a breath since she ran into Draco Malfoy. That explained why her chest felt like it would burst and how blood seemed to overflow up in her brain.

In an instant, she let the breath she was holding inside her out in a whoosh.

Draco Malfoy was as beautiful as when she first kissed him. Tall, well-built, white-blonde hair, grey eyes – there was no one like him. But there was something different. His eyes. There were cold steel. Well the _first_ time she kissed him, his eyes _were_ cold but they seemed to be more _cold lust_ than _cold steel_. Hermione preferred lust any day.

Taking in a deep breath, Hermione stepped to the side to walk past him but he matched her steps so she nearly walked into him.

She wanted to. So bad. Just to walk into him and feel his chest against hers. To feel his arms wrap tight around her so she couldn't breathe. To feel his regular heart beats whereas hers were pounding about a mile per second. To feel his hot breath against her cold forehead. To smell _his smell_; an enchanting oceanic smell.

But she couldn't. It was complicated. Everything seemed to make sense now. They were just never meant to be together. The people in Draco's life hated her and the people in her life hated him. Who was she kidding when she believed the two of them could reunite this broken world?

Oh, that's right. She was kidding herself. Hermione was always trying to find a good reason why she shouldn't feel guilty enjoying his lips on hers even and savouring how _right_ it felt. But somewhere deep inside her, she knew it was wrong. She was being selfish; sacrificing all she ever learnt just to have a couple months of happiness.

"Why are you heading in the direction of the Slytherin Corridors, Mudblood?" Draco sneered.

That was what broke her. Accusations and name-calling. She didn't care if he just hit her and beat her till she was blue because the words he said were what hurt her the most. Sometimes she felt like she should just _beg_ him to physically abuse her instead of mentally abuse her because the pain would be easier.

But in the short months they had together, Hermione could tell he wasn't a very physically abusive person. Every time he touched her…it was so gentle. It could've been a feather touching her. Even those times when he pressed her flushed body against his, it was still gentle even though his actions were impatient.

Oh, she thought about him all the time. It was only a matter of time before he would appear in her vision rather than her memories.

"Why do you even ask?" Hermione growled. She took a step back because she was far too close to him. The words he spoken made his warm breath touch her forehead. It brought back memories that she wished she could recreate. "We don't associate with each other!"

"Don't try and play cute with me, Muddy," Draco hissed. "You started all this. Always looking me up and down to taste what I could possibly offer you. But apparently I'm not even good enough for a Mudblood."

Hermione could feel the tears ready to be spilled. It felt like for the past week all she wanted to do was cry. She had never technically bawled her heart out in front of Draco; she just had tears. If she cried, he would laugh.

She now saw how they were indeed opposites. If she cried, he would laugh. If he cried (well, he did say Malfoys _don't_ cry; they seem to _don't_ do much), she would probably laugh. Actually, maybe not. The thought of him in tears…

"I know Malfoys lie but some of us know the truth!" Hermione growled. "We know _you _started it when you kissed me!"

Draco hissed and took a step forward and Hermione automatically took a step back. There was a look of pure savage on his face and she wasn't sure whether he was going to hurt her or not.

All those times he touched her, he wasn't mad with her. She had seen the times when he did get angry (mostly about his father and – eek! – Pansy). He would blast the items in his room with his wand but there was no time to retrieve his wand now. Draco was an impulsive character. So even though he wasn't normally a physically abusive wizard, sometimes impulsiveness can cloud his usual norms.

As Hermione stared at him with wide eyes, a First Year student walked into their corridor. A Hufflepuff. The student stopped and her eyes flickered between Draco and Hermione. Although Draco had his back to the girl, he could sense something was wrong as he tensed.

Hermione knew it probably did not look good for the girl. It looked as though Draco was advancing onto Hermione. Well he _was _but not in _that_ sense. Hermione had to fix this or else the little girl may tell Dumbledore and everything would fall apart. NO ONE could ever know she and Draco ever had a conversation that involved more than taunts.

"Hello!" Hermione greeted the girl, trying to beam. She was sure she looked like a troll as she tried to smile but was actually crying inside.

Draco slowly turned around so his back was to Hermione.

"Hello," Draco said quietly. "What are you doing?"

The girl opened her mouth to speak but her eyes were getting bigger with fright. Everyone knew Draco and all the First Years were scared of him. But everyone also knew Hermione since she was always with The-Boy-Who-Lived. Hermione really had to make sure this didn't get out.

"Don't worry about him," Hermione said as gently as possible. Everyone also knew Harry and Draco hated each other so presumed she hated him as well. Might as well pretend so. "He's practically harmless. I'm just telling him to lay off Harry since he has no hope."

The girl gave the slightest nod and ran back the way she came from.

Draco turned around and looked like he was about to snarl something but Hermione quickly pulled him into a deserted classroom.

"I'm sorry, Granger, but I'm not the one who should be used," Draco growled as Hermione released the handful of his shirt she had grabbed. Hermione glared at him and locked the door behind her.

"It's time you talk sense since you're so smart and flying through Potions!" Hermione snapped as she turned back around to face him. "I figured we should talk in private as it looks like you're not going to let me go any time soon."

Draco snorted and sneered.

"I already let you go, baby," he whispered. "You're the one who's heading straight back for me."

"Oh, please!" Hermione scoffed. She really couldn't believe this. There really is a time when his huge ego was too nerving. "I was the one trying to walk around you since your fat ego was blocking my way along with your fat body."

For an instant the sneer of Draco's face fell as a look of complete shock replaced it.

"I'm…not _fat_," Draco said, his voice in disbelief and eyes slightly wider. "How the hell can _I _be _fat_?"

Hermione realised the insanity as she willed herself not to laugh. There was really nothing to laugh about at the moment. But of all things, would Draco seriously believe that? Was it bruising his ego? His pride? Didn't he already know he was the best-looking guy in the whole universe? Not to mention an athletic body at sixteen already. Some of the Muggle boys at sixteen were practically like a broom.

"I'm just saying what the mirror says to you," Hermione replied innocently. She might as well have a little fun. It was better than the constant yelling and it was a rare sight to see Draco lose some of his ego.

"Do you think I'm fat?" Draco asked in a low voice, trapping her gaze with his fiery grey eyes.

Hermione shrugged unable to look away from his beautiful eyes. She didn't want hurt to ever fill these eyes but they would be replaced with fury when he realised she never thought he was fat.

"It would explain why you have difficulties getting the Snitch; it's because of your heavy weight," Hermione replied innocently once again.

"I only lose to Potter," Draco sneered. "And I weigh less than those other Seekers and they don't look fat to me."

Hermione cocked her head to the side trying to look thoughtful. Draco always managed to outsmart her even if that wasn't his intention.

"They're muscular. Muscles weigh more than fat," Hermione said.

She was very aware of the immaturity of the conversation. She felt like she was trying to explain an easy concept to a little kid. She just couldn't believe how naïve Draco was being though.

"So you made-out with a 'fat' guy?" Draco smirked.

"I'm not shallow," Hermione said coldly. Suddenly, the humour quickly vanished. It was back to the harsh, cruel torments once again. "And you made-out with a Mudblood."

Draco's eyes flashed but Hermione was ready for whatever he was going to throw to her. She wasn't as naïve as Draco.

"No-one can know," Draco said through gritted teeth.

"Of course," Hermione said sarcastically. "It's a stain to the Pureblood honour – Merlin forbid! And if I told anyone, would they believe me? Draco, I think you should think clearly. You're making deranged assumptions."

"Whatever," Draco said. "Why were you heading to the Slytherin Rooms? Going to hook up with all the other Purebloods?"

Hermione glared at him but then hesitated. Should she tell him why? It was feeble and she would look weak but it would make Draco stop accusing her of wanting him or other guys.

"I left my gloves in your room," Hermione muttered, finally forcing herself to look away. She didn't want to see the laughter in his eyes. It was just a pair of gloves…but it was the one her grandmother gave her before she passed away.

Draco didn't say reply so Hermione looked back up to face his grey eyes. They were void; like most of the time.

"Why didn't you just ask me for them instead of sneaking around?" Draco finally asked.

"As if I want to risk talking to you when everyone would blow a cauldron if they saw us together," Hermione lied. She didn't want to face him at all.

Draco frowned.

"I don't remember seeing gloves in my room. I'm pretty sure I would know what belongs to me," Draco said, the frown still etched on his handsome features.

"Are you sure?" Hermione breathed, slightly feeling panic. She had searched all over her room, Harry and Ron's room, and every other place she had been and had not found them. She figured that she left them at Draco's but if not…

"Yes," Draco said. His frown was then replaced with scorn. "Come on, Granger, don't cry over a pair of gloves when you didn't cry over me."

The panic inside of Hermione suddenly became grief and anger. What did she ever see in that insensitive pig? She was always there for him but was there actually a time when he was there for her?! Probably not.

"You are an arrogant, selfish bully!" Hermione snarled. Draco jumped back at her outburst but Hermione did not care at this instant. "Just because things in your life have no meaning, it doesn't mean my life is equal to yours. Don't talk to me ever again!"

Tears filling her eyes for about the hundredth time that day as Hermione made her way to exit the room but Draco trapped her once again. He quickly flipped her around so he was pinning her against the cold wall.

"Let go of me, Malfoy," Hermione growled through gritted teeth. She knew she was must look pathetic with tears going down her face.

"Not until we get one thing straight," Draco hissed tightening his hold on her wrists above her head. Hermione winced but not from her pain but the pain in his eyes. Draco swallowed and released her hands, placing both of his hands on either side of her head. Hermione's heart raced as she tried to figure out where she should place her hands. She sniffed and curled them into fists at her sides. It wasn't like she could touch him or cross her arms since he was so close.

"My life may not have any meaning but 'things' in my life does," Draco whispered into her ear.

It didn't matter how angry she was at him, her body still ached for him. Her fists uncurled and she desperately wanted to touch him but…she just couldn't.

"Come on, Draco," Hermione practically begged. She knew she was breaking down in front of him but it didn't matter because her heart was breaking all over again. She didn't want to feel the remains of her heart in the form of broken glass. Her heart was already bleeding. "We have to stop this."

Draco moved so his face was facing hers.

"Why?" he whispered. "No-one said hooking up was the mistake. Perhaps breaking up was."

Hermione sobbed at the idea of getting back together. All the heartache will be healed but could they be the way they were before the break-up? The break-up will still haunt them and what about what he was hiding?

"Draco," Hermione sobbed, placing her hands on his shoulders. It was the only time she was expressing her true feelings apart from the few 'I-love-you's she said. "I've been hurting so much without you and I don't know if I'm able to stand that pain if we go through it all again."

"Shh," Draco murmured placing two slim fingers on her lips. He sure looked like he was hurting too. "You think too much."

He removed his fingers and licked his lips. It was obvious he was going to kiss her and Hermione longed for his lips far too long. She knew that it was wrong somehow but something had to heal her heart so she could believe again.

She let out a moan when she felt his lips brush innocently with hers. Stop teasing already! As she opened her mouth, granting full access, Draco suddenly jerked back.

Hermione's eyes flew wide-open as she watched Draco back away with a pained expression. Her head was spinning as she looked at Draco gulping for air as he slowly backed away. Did…did something hurt him?

"What?" she gasped. "Draco? Draco…are you okay?"

Draco shook his bowed head as he took ragged breaths.

"Hermione, God…I'm so sorry," he choked out. He looked up and his silver gaze seemed to be shining from behind tears. "We can't. We both know that. I'm sorry for all the hurt I've caused you. Hermione…just know that you're a thing in my life that has a meaning."

Hermione watched him, shock freezing her to the spot, as Draco brushed past her and left.

She meant something to him. But her heart was already breaking once again.

…………………………………………………..

Draco sprinted all the way to his dorm; ignoring gasps, yells and snickers. He had to be alone right now. Not even Hermione could save him.

Once he reached his dorm, he slammed the door shut and then screamed his heart out. Everything fibre of him was hurting but what hurt the most was…

Draco angrily rolled up his sleeve to look at the Dark Mark. The skull seemed to be sneering at him.

"DIE!" Draco howled as he scratched at the mark with his nails. He was surprised to see splashes of tears mixed with the dark blood forming around the skull.

Just to think a few minutes before he was with Hermione. Everything seemed to be going okay again. They were fighting but it was crystal clear that they both cared. That they both _loved_ each other.

He was about to kiss her; he had been deprived of all of her far too long. Just wanted to taste those lips again when the Dark Mark blazed.

Draco was then overcome with a feeling he knew all too well: fear. He was scared that his burn would touch Hermione and he would NEVER let her be scarred in any way. It wasn't because Hermione would discover he was a Death Eater but the exposure she would have to a Death Eater. He had been so selfish wanting her in his life when her life would always be jeopardy when she was with him. Her life would be more jeopardised being with him than Harry Potter. Not only would Voldemort want to kill her but his parents too.

He had to get out of there. The burning of his Dark Mark reminded him of everything he could never give Hermione. It wasn't fair for her.

Draco punched his wall after his arm was drenched with blood. So he can't see the Mark now but he can still feel it. As if it was always watching what he did. Lucky he had mastered Occlumency so Voldemort couldn't get into his head but it was never safe.

The burning of his Mark didn't mean Voldemort wanted to see him right now. Thankfully, no. Draco always felt like spewing when he saw that snake face. It was just a reminder that he had a mission to do: Kill Albus Dumbledore.

…………………………………..

"_What?"_

_Draco woke alert at Hermione's concerned and frightened voice. Crap. He had fallen asleep after a heavy training for Quidditch._

"_What 'what'?" Draco gruffly asked ignoring the fear pounding within his body. He knew he sleeptalked and he hoped to Merlin that he didn't say something stupid._

_He swatted her gentle stroking of his hair and sat up straight on his bed._

"_Why didn't you just leave when I dozed off?" Draco asked, giving her a slight glare. When he saw her hurt look, he added, "I don't like being watched when I'm asleep."_

"_Draco," Hermione said sternly. "I can't exactly leave by myself."_

_He knew she was right. Every time they sneaked Hermione into his dorm, they would have to adjust her features so no-one would recognise her. Hermione would magically change the colour and texture of her hair, the sound of her voice, the shape of her nose, eyes, lips and body and her height. They always made her look different because Draco had a 'reputation' of a man-slut. Although these transformations lasted half-an-hour max, Draco would immediately force Hermione to transform herself back as he could not stand to look at another face but hers despite how 'beautiful' she would change herself._

_And sure, Hermione could transform herself back into her disguise before leaving his dorm but she admitted to being scared of facing the Slytherins alone when she didn't look like her. She didn't have to say it but Draco knew it was because she feared the Slytherin boys would rape her and the Slytherin girls will make her hell because of the features she transformed into. And Draco Malfoy wasn't supposed to care about his one-night stands so whatever they did to a disguised Hermione shouldn't matter to him. _

"_Right," Draco said tiredly. "Ready to turn back into Goldilocks so you can leave?"_

_Hermione shook her head and grasped one of his hands tightly in hers._

"_You said you had a mission when you were sleeping," she said tenderly. "What was that about?"_

_Draco searched her open, warm honey-coloured eyes. She didn't look like she wanted to pry into his life but wanted to care about him._

_But he couldn't tell her._

"_To seduce Hermione Granger?" Draco asked suggestively._

_He thought that was a good thing to do to have her make out with him again but instead, she pulled away her hands and looked flushed from anger._

"_And what does that give you?" she demanded avoiding his gaze._

_How much could he reveal about himself?_

"_Happiness," he answered taking her hands in both of his. When she didn't look at him, he removed one hand to lift her chin so she couldn't escape his gaze. "My heart is filled with happiness. That is what I get when I'm with you. I hope I do the same to you."_

"_That is, if _I_ seduce Draco Malfoy," Hermione smiled, her shoulders relaxing. She squeezed back his free hand. "Then my heart will be filled with happiness."_

"_Okay, Gryffindor Princess," Draco said as he removed his hand to snake it around her back. "Seduce me. If that will fill your heart with happiness, I suppose I'll be happy enough."_

"_You only like the dirty talk and dirty action," Hermione scoffed as she rolled her eyes._

"_Perhaps," Draco said with a shrug. "But I like to be happy too. And you happy, pretty much equals me happy."_

_Hermione smiled and blushed. She was so beautiful. Draco leaned in towards her ear._

"_And I promise I will do everything I can to make you happy."_

_Hermione let out a little laugh and pulled back to look into his eyes._

"_And Malfoys don't break promises." _


	5. A Touch of Jealousy

**Chapter Four: A Touch of Jealousy**

"I think you just lost the love of your life."

Hermione stiffened at the accusation and then looked up at a smug Ginny who had joined her at the Dining Table. Hermione looked around at the other Gryffindors to see whether they were ears dropping and then realised no-one really cared about her life. Her gaze returned to Ginny and she glared at her.

"I think you're too afraid to admit the love of your life," Hermione shot back rather nastily.

Ginny surprised her by laughing and then taking a seat next to her. She grabbed a piece of apple and took a bite.

"I'm not the one moping around even if I'm not with 'the love of my life'" Ginny replied.

"Well I have not just lost the love of my life," Hermione snapped. As if Draco was the love of her life. Please! And was she really that transparent?

"Good," Ginny said as she continued to bite into her apple. "That means you can be looking for love. I think I should set you up with someone to take your mind of whatever it is that you're upset about. You can always tell me, you know. Whatever it is that is bothering you."

The anger inside her body slightly eased. Ginny was just trying to look out for her; she just had an annoying way of doing it.

"Okay, Ginny. I have responses to everything you just said. I am way too young to be looking for love. Therefore I don't need to be set up with anyone because I am not interested. And nothing's bothering me; really, I just suddenly feel the stress of all the schoolwork. And if you're bored, why don't you find some ways to win over Harry?"

Hermione thought that Ginny would blush at the name of Harry like she did in previous years but she only smiled wistfully.

"He's really busy," Ginny shrugged. She finished the small apple and placed it on the plate. "And I keep busy by dating other guys to take my mind off him. Then I think I do like those guys I'm with and just have a silly crush on Harry. 'Mione, how do you tell you like someone?"

How could Ginny talk so openly about a topic? And was Ginny looking at her like some sort of older sister? Like she had the answers?

Hermione wasn't even sure she could describe the definition of love yet alone just a simple like.

"If you don't think about any other guy when you're with a guy, I suppose you do like him," Hermione replied. She had to talk in such a way so Ginny would not suspect she was in any sort of romance. Not that she was in one anymore. If…she _was_ in one before.

"I think about Harry at times," Ginny said frowning slightly. "Weird. Anyway, can't I just set you up with someone? It'll take your mind off things and you never know, it could be just the person you're looking for."

There could be no-one else after Draco.

"Ginny, I strongly oppose to the idea and you can't do anything about it against my will," Hermione said firmly.

Ginny pulled a face.

"I'm just trying to help you," she whined. "You're no fun at all."

…………………………………..

"_Perhaps," Hermione rolled her eyes at Draco. "But playing 'I never' would not make me have any fun at all. Don't you ever consider my feelings?"_

_Draco snorted and pulled her into his lap._

"_Well do you consider mine?" he asked. "I am bored and want to have some fun. You're completely crushing my feelings by not playing 'I never' with me. I can forgive you for that if you'll play strip poker with me. See, I'm considering your feelings. I'm giving you options."_

_Hermione laughed at wrapped her arms around his neck._

"_Draco," she sighed. "You can be so strange sometimes. Why don't you make-out with me? Isn't that fun for you?"_

_That was a troubling question she had. She had no idea why Draco didn't just crush her beneath him as he ravished her. Normally Draco would oblige to that without any problems. That's why she was confused to why he wanted to play a game to pass his boredom. They hardly meet up anyway so wouldn't he prefer to kiss her? Didn't she look appealing today?_

"_Too fun," Draco said as he played with the hem of her shirt. That was all he was doing yet she could feel tremors in her body. She was just a puddle of Hermione every time he touched her. "But if I have too much fun kissing you, would you mind?"_

_Hermione immediately felt guilty accusing him of not considering her feelings. He was obviously placing her interests before him. When he was having too much fun (ahem, advancing to the next step), he just wanted to ensure that she would be okay with that._

"_We can meet halfway, can't we?" Hermione asked feebly._

_It's not that she didn't mind seeing Draco naked (she hadn't yet, she wasn't even sure if she was _able_ to look at perfection for too long) but the thought of _her_ naked in front of him completely terrified her. She knew that all the girls Draco had been with were a match for Aphrodite and she…she might as well be the female Hephaestus._

"_Hmm…" Draco murmured as he placed soft kisses on her jaw. Hermione couldn't help emitting a pleasured sigh. "For sure. So where's the half-way line?"_

_It was very difficult thinking of a half-way line when Draco was kissing her like this. Sometimes Hermione wondered why she shouldn't just meet him all the way…Oh, yeah. Naked. In front of Draco. In front of perfection._

"_Can do anything that is possible with clothes on," Hermione whispered rather breathlessly._

_Draco pulled back and smirked in her face._

"_So I can _touch_ you anywhere as long as your covered in something?" he asked with amusement._

_Hermione flushed deep scarlet like the emblem of Gryffindor. The thought of Draco touching her in the most intimate places made her whimper. She wasn't sure if she was able to do survive that._

"_It's alright," Draco said dryly as he watched her face turn into horror. His humour quickly fled. "Just the usual places. However, if you ever want to touch me anywhere, you don't even need to ask for permission."_

_Hermione felt the guilt inside of her increase. It wasn't fair that Draco had to hold back what he wanted for _her_._

"_You know I feel intimidated, don't you?" Hermione whispered into his shoulder as she buried her face. "That's why."_

_Draco snorted and tugged her back so they could stare into each other's eyes. Even that could pass of as intimidation._

"_Why?" he asked incredulously. "You even called me shallow a few times before and you're 'never wrong' as you quoted. Therefore I am shallow and only prefer beautiful girls. I'm with you so you must be beautiful."_

_It was times like these that Hermione wasn't sure how she should respond. There were very few times that he could her beautiful and every time he did tell her that, she felt like she could burst from happiness._

"_I also said you are a very skilled liar," Hermione reminded him._

_Draco frowned disapprovingly then a new light flashed in his lights._

"_I know a new game. I ask every Slytherin boys whether you're beautiful or not and that way we can determine whether I was lying when I said you were beautiful," Draco said, looking pleased with himself. Which was normal._

"_Please, don't," Hermione groaned. "_Why_ would Slytherins call a Muggle-born beautiful?"_

"_There's this game we play where we all choose a Muggle-born girl we wish was Pureblood so we could date them. You name comes up a lot of the times," Draco said wistfully._

_Hermione closely inspected him._

"_Okay, whatever! I believe you when you say I'm 'beautiful'. No games," Hermione said._

"_No games," Draco agreed as he leaned closer for another kiss. "Just fun."_

………………………………

Blaise choked on the pancake he was eating.

"You think going to a strip club is _fun_, Parkinson?" Blaise spluttered. Then he howled with laughter. "What do _you _do?"

Draco cringed as Blaise's laughter caught everyone in the Dining Room's attention. He bet Hermione was looking over at his table now reminding herself how he was a loser with loser friends.

Not that Blaise was a complete moron. But sometimes he could be cruel.

Pansy, who was a loser as she was a try-hard, did not appear to be affected by Blaise's outburst.

"I laugh at the way some guys can't control themselves when a girl walks in with one piece of clothing," she simpered.

Blaise stopped laughing and scowled. Draco briefly recalled the time when half the Slytherins went into a strip club and Blaise was practically drooling.

Pansy laughed half-heartedly and patted Blaise's arm making him flinch. He glowered dangerously at her.

"It's okay, Zabini," she soothed. "Some of us just don't get that much attention so it's only natural if we act like that when a fantasy becomes reality."

"Please," Blaise growled. "I could get anyone I wanted. Including Mudbloods."

Draco immediately tensed at the word. Every time someone uttered that word, it made him purely disgusted with himself when he used that word. He – no, _everyone­_ – had no right to call anyone that.

"Wow," Pansy said dryly. "Could you get me?"

Pansy valued herself as a difficult girl to get. She always pranced around as if she was the Witch of the School, yet she seemed to be an easy target for Draco.

"I don't _want_ you," Blaise pointed out with a smirk.

"I do!" Crabbed said excitedly. Pansy shot him a dirty look and Crabbe let his shoulders fall in defeat.

"What about…Granger? I'm quite sure she doesn't want you as much as I don't," Pansy offered.

Draco was now so tense he was able to spring to the other side of Hogwarts if he relaxed. The idea of Hermione with any guy infuriated him. Not that Hermione would like Blaise, he was sure, but she might _pretend_ to just to make him jealous. She knew he was completely jealous of any guy she associated with (minus Potter and Weasley), right?

"What's wrong with you?" Blaise asked Draco suspiciously.

Draco rounded at Pansy and scowled at her.

"Are you completely messed up?" he growled at her. "What makes you think any of us Purebloods would want to touch filth?"

Draco was very aware how much he was contradicting himself. If all the Purebloods knew what it was like to touch Hermione, he was sure none of them were able to pull away.

"Sorry," Pansy muttered, flushing slightly.

Blaise still looked suspicious.

"Why are you strutting around with a wand stuck up your behind lately?" he asked.

Draco flinched slightly. How could anyone say that to him? Wasn't he always in a bad mood?

Draco pointed to his left arm where the Dark Mark was concealed and Blaise no longer looked suspicious. Instead, he always looked like he felt sorry for Draco. As if he needed any sympathy.

It had been approximately two minutes since Draco last looked at Hermione so he allowed himself to look at her once again. Might as well satisfy something.

He felt his blood freeze over as he watched the prettiest witch in the school talking to a fairly good-looking guy who was in Ravenclaw. WHAT THE…! So much for loving _him_ when she already moved on.

Draco felt himself curl with fury as Hermione laughed at something the guy said. She called _him_ a talented liar, look at _her._ She was the one who lied that every moment she shared with him was treasure. Can you so easily replace treasure once it's gone?

"Pansy," Draco called slowly forcing his eyes off Hermione to look at Pansy. Pansy looked up gleefully that for once he wasn't yelling at her when he was talking to her. "Would you like to accompany me for a walk?"

"Always," Pansy breathed.

"See you around," Draco said stiffly to the guys. He offered his arm to Pansy and she took it whilst beaming.

Something had to take his mind of Hermione.

………………………….

Hermione felt like crying. Well that wasn't unusual since the day Draco broke up with her. But still. She felt like crying.

Draco had just walked out of the Dining Hall with Pansy hanging off his arm. As much as Hermione hated Pansy, she had to admit that the pair of them looked like they belonged in the modelling world.

"So I've heard you might've been in Ravenclaw," the handsome Ravenclaw said wistfully.

At the moment, Hermione detested Ginny. Despite how Hermione clearly stated she DID NOT want to meet any guy, she had gone against her wishes and brought over a guy.

Not that the guy was a troll or something. His name was Frederick Zannard, preferred to be called Zan, and he was from Ravenclaw.

He wasn't a bad sight either. An extremely good-looking guy. He was tall and had a nice figure – not too muscled or too wiry. Presumably silky, black curls draped over light toffee eyes and Zan had a grin that showed off perfect rows of pearly, white teeth, which was a pretty contrast against lightly tanned skin.

But there was one problem. He wasn't Draco Malfoy.

"Yeah," Hermione said, smiling slightly. She didn't want to come across as rude yet she didn't want to encourage him any further.

But then again, what _could_ someone see in her?

"We don't have to be from the same house to hang out," Zan said with a wink. Hermione's smile was involuntary.

"I better get to class," Hermione mumbled as she heard the bell. A part of her fell apologetic but she didn't know what.

"See you around," Zan smiled. Hermione smiled once again and left the Dining Hall.

And that's when she saw _him_ again approximately five metres away. Draco. But not alone this time. With _Pansy_. And not sitting woodenly next to her either. Kissing her. Fiercely. Had he even kissed her with so much passion?

Tears immediately flooded Hermione's eyes as she scurried away from the scene. She knew it was completely stupid for her to be crying over him. He obviously didn't care about her, which was why he was sucking Pansy's face already. Seriously. She should be over this by now.

Hermione didn't believe in rebound either. Why would you go out with someone when you liked someone else?

But…in another world, where Draco wasn't a part of it, she might've settled for Zan. Zan had this vibe about him that made her smile easily. And since Draco was no longer in the picture, there was nothing wrong with being friends with Zan, right? She shouldn't feel guilty talking to Zan because she wasn't the one _kissing_ him. It wasn't like she was obliged to only speak to girls because she was a heterosexual being.

"So Zan's alright," Hermione muttered when a smug Ginny cornered her.

Ginny beamed.

"Should I tell him it's a date?"

Hermione hesitated. A date? As if she was dating him? As in Zan, her boyfriend? But then again would Ginny take her word? If she said no, Ginny would probably tell Zan anyway and Hermione would have to clean up any uncertainties.

"If you say so."


	6. The Opposite of What I Ever Was

**Chapter Five:: The Opposite of What I Ever Was**

Every time Draco Malfoy thought that he couldn't possibly hate his life or himself any more, he always found himself wrong. Because at the moment, Draco Malfoy would rather be tortured with the Unforgivable Curses a million times than ever admit what he was doing at the exact moment.

Hiding behind a tall statue, waiting to see whether Hermione Granger actually accepted that inferior Ravenclaw.

Pathetic. Since when did Malfoys hide? He was finally coming to terms with the word 'coward', which Potter and Weasley had labelled him numerously. Draco had always shaken at the word because he had always believed that he was a fierce person – no-one else had ever gone through a life like his – but now he realised, he had always been a coward.

Running away from duels when he was at a disadvantage. Sitting woodenly, jaws clenched, every time his father yelled at his mother. Never telling Hermione just how much she meant to him.

Sheesh! What was _with_ him? Here he was pinning over a girl who had deceived him and now he was feeling sorry for _her_ because she never knew what he felt.

He really was pathetic.

But then again, not knowing whether she did accept that date or not, would gnaw at his insides. He just had to know! Unfortunately, he shared no acquaintances with that Muggle-born so he couldn't simply ask someone. So here he was waiting at the time he _thought_ that Zannard guy said they should meet up. He wasn't even sure _when_ the date was. Pathetic.

Draco's breath hitched when he finally spotted Hermione gliding towards the entrance. She looked exquisite; exactly the type of clothing one would wear to a date, clothing to _impress_.

She was wearing a tight, strapless ruby dress that hugged her envious figure before flaring loosely at the knees to expose her shapely legs that fitted nicely in a pair of deep purple heels. The sight of her bare back, which was visible to the eye despite the black shawl she had around her shoulders, almost made Draco groan at the thought of skimming his fingers along the creamy skin.

But what took his breath away was her face. She had her normally, bush-like hair (which Draco secretly fancied; so _sexily_ wild) pulled back in an elegant bun, which emphasised the perfection of her face. Delicate eyebrows above large, honey-coloured eyes…a nose without a bump on the bridge…lips…delicious rosy lips that were impossibly soft…

Draco was brought back into reality when he realised Hermione was wearing make-up. She _never_ wore make-up every time he was with him; she had even scoffed at the concept of make-up when 'spells can simply enhance one's natural beauty'.

So why was she wearing make-up?

Draco stifled a sigh when he knew that he already held the answer. She really was trying to impress this Zannard troll; something she never did with him. After all, Draco was just a little…_object…_for her to adhere to support the incredulous ideas of Harry 'The Chosen One' Potter. Despite how most of the time Potter's suspicions were correct.

So why couldn't Draco move on in his life and forger about Hermione Granger? Wasn't seeing her dressed in a mouth-watering outfit enough to confirm that she DID NOT care about him? An outfit that she must know would make any male want to release the animal in him and ravish her?

Draco knew the answer to those questions too. Regardless of how he constantly tried to take his mind off her, there was always a small part of him that hoped she cared for him still. If she ever did.

As Hermione exited the front entrance, the soft _thud_ the stone doors made, crushed any hope left inside of him.

And Draco Malfoy became the same person he was before he was swept away in Hermione's arms. Cold, heartless, untrustworthy, conniving…incapable of love.

……………..

"_Argh, stop," Hermione groaned as Draco started to list all the adjectives he _supposedly_ was before he met her. "No-one could possibly be all those things. It's inhumane. And of course you were capable of love, you love your family."_

_Hermione watched anxiously as Draco's eyes did not lift from the fathomless dark cloud. Was there anything she could say to prove that he had always been good?_

"_You have no idea what it's like to be me," Draco said quietly. The strain and disgust in his voice made Hermione realise his life was not all the 'perfect Manor-life' she had always envisioned._

"_That is true but I know what you are as a person," Hermione said softly. She moved closer so she could take his hands in hers. She gave a gentle squeeze to his cold hands. "You're witty, intelligent, have unconditional loyalty to those you love and not to mention _extremely_ good-looking."_

_Hermione grinned suggestively at the end; willing to say anything that was the truth to lift his spirits. She had no idea how the conversation turned to this._

_Draco lifted up the corner of his mouth in a half-hearted smile._

"_Enough about my flaws," Draco said, rolling his eyes. "Anything bad that you want to rant on for awhile?"_

_Hermione wrinkled her nose at the idea of exposing her imperfections. Did she really want to draw attention to them? She saw the interested gleam in his eye at her reaction and decided she'd do anything to draw attention away from his pain._

"_I'm an icky pale," Hermione confessed motioning to her skin. "Some colours just aren't compatible with my skin such as red, navy…basically any colour that is quite dark. I look disgusting in black. Sometimes I find it hard to find clothes that look good on me."_

_Draco raised his eyebrows in amusement._

"_Really? I would've thought that you would look good in _any_ colour. But on your point, I'm paler than you. Does that mean I would look 'disgusting' in black too?"_

_Hermione roamed her eyes over his body; trying not to show the hungry expression in her eyes. She just couldn't get over how perfect he was!_

"_No," she stated simply. "You're like the _perfect_ pale. You're almost white that any colour you wear looks good. You'll match pale tone because you're pale yourself yet you'll look good in dark tones because you're very pale skin provides a contrast. My pale is closer to an off-yellow than white."_

_Draco let out a laugh and Hermione was pleased that she was able to make him laugh once again. She hadn't heard him laugh for such a long time. She tried to not remind herself that he was laughing at her skin-tone._

"_Hermione," Draco drawled playing his now warm hands on the side of her face. "Trust me when I say you'll look good in anything. Someone like you can pull off any colour despite what you think."_

_Hermione rolled her eyes at his words even though her heart was fluttering as he drew soft circles on her cheeks._

"_So you'll never wear red for me?" he practically purred. It was times like these where Hermione almost lost all her will to him. Damn his irresistibility!_

_She shook her head vehemently as she wasn't sure she was able to speak at this point._

"_Well…that's just too bad…" Draco murmured before silencing any more of her thoughts with a kiss._

……………………………………_.._

"I'm sorry," Hermione said, wincing. It was partially the truth. She did feel bad that she had to back in her dorm by half-past-nine to work on her last-minute essay instead of spending more time with Zan.

_You left the essay on purpose! _A cruel voice snarled in her head.

Ignoring that stubborn voice, Hermione smiled up at Zan hoping that she could make it up to him.

"I'm having a really good time," she added. At least, that was honest.

Despite Ginny playing Barbie-doll with Hermione (this made Hermione believe that Ginny might've possibly grown up with those Muggle toys) and throwing Hermione in a hideous red dress and covering her face in war-paint, Hermione was basically having a perfect time.

Zan had taken her to a cosy, expensive restaurant in Hogsmeade called 'Frolicking Beauty' that Hermione had unbelievably never heard of before. The food was ravishing making Hermione fear that she'll explode in Ginny's tiny dress. There were some mermaid entertainments, who had learnt to speak English (although their voice was not as soothing as their breathtaking appearance), but they had to frequently leave to hydrate themselves.

"Me too," Zan said with a grin. "And I'm not usually a date guy. Too formal."

"Same here," Hermione agreed with a returned grin. "So I'm a little surprised that this is actually really nice. I'd always thought going on dates would be a horrendous experience."

That was also the truth. She had always imagined sitting at a table of two, stabbing a fork into some plastic-like food, as an awkward silence hovered around them. Not to mention the need of eating cautiously as the date might look up and catch some food wedged between her teeth as she fake-smiled.

So she was expecting the worse but was having a really, pleasant time. There were no awkward silences as the two shared stories about themselves and there were even times when Hermione laughed. She hadn't laughed for so long…

_You're just pretending you're having a 'perfect' time so you'll think you're moving on from Draco. How can you do this?! _That annoying, loyal voice to that slimeball raged.

Hermione stiffened and tuned that voice out. How could she even think about Draco at this time when he was probably playing some R-rated game with Pansy.

"Ready to head back?" Zan asked politely.

"Yes," Hermione smiled. She took the arm he offered and pulled herself up. She couldn't help remembering how Draco never offered his.

Zan spoke in his charming voice about the Filch (only his voice kept Hermione listening) but there was a sudden fear welling up inside of her. What if Zan tried to kiss her? Would she let him? Could she? Did she want him to?

Hermione's heart was racing with fear at the thought. She couldn't _not_ move away if he tried to kiss her; that was impolite. Especially after all the praise she had given him.

But then again, he might not kiss her. Why would he? She probably looked like a corpse the way she was dressed by an enthusiastic Ginny.

So Hermione gulped when she found herself a breath away from a kiss with Zan. She was at the portrait of Gryffindor and Zan was capturing her with blazing, liquid eyes. Big gulp.

"Good night, Hermione," Zan murmured huskily and Hermione watched frozen as Zan closed his eyes and leaned closer.

Then she felt his gentle lips brush hers in a firm but very sweet kiss. She hadn't moved when he pulled back.

"Uh…good night, Zan," Hermione said with a beam. Her heart was thumping strangely in her chest.

Zan winked back and walked off, still with that playful, innocent smile on his face.

Dazed, Hermione uttered the password, and stepped through the portrait…into a waiting, bouncy Ginny.

"Well?!"

…………………………

This time Draco didn't have to hide behind any object to find out the latest news in Hermione's _scandalous_ life.

It was the top gossip of all of Hogwarts: Hermione Granger was dating Fredrick Zannard.

_What the_…Draco finished the thought with curses. Is it even possible to be with someone after less than three hours? Sheesh!

Draco glowered as he saw the 'Golden Couple' walk through the doors to attend breakfast. The sight of them holding hands almost caused him to throw back up the pita bread he just ate.

As Draco speculated that half-blood Ravenclaw, realisation hit him hard. Fredrick Zannard was the complete opposite of him. Dark-haired, tanned, optimistic, open, caring – everything Draco was not.

Someone who was Hermione's equal.

The thought tore at his insides and he desperately wanted to leave the hall but perhaps Hermione would know it was because of her. Heck, why should he care what she thought?!

So Draco waited – impatiently in the inside; like a statue on the outside – for breakfast to end. The image of Hermione giggling in Fredrick's arms was sickening.

When it was time for the first class, Draco practically ran out of the hall to his dorm. He ignored his surprised friends and Pansy's worried protests.

As he reached his dorm, he hurriedly grabbed a parchment and scribbled shakily: _Give me more._

He scrunched the note up in his hand and shoved it down his robe. He had to get to the post soon and send it to his father. He needed more from Voldemort.

Who cared about the pain that the Dark Arts had to offer? It was nothing close to the pain Hermione caused him.


	7. Tainted Love

Note: for all those who are wondering, YES, this story will have a happy ending. I personally love happy endings! (:

**Chapter Six:: Tainted Love**

Hermione Granger had spent many years wondering whether they'll ever be people in this world who were happy because _she_ was happy. So she was more than merely surprised when she realised there were, in fact, _many_ people who was happy when she was.

_But are you happy? _The faithful voice to the ferret questioned snidely.

Strangely, the reason why people were happy for Hermione was that she was dating Frederick Zannard. Lots of girls Hermione had never seen before had rushed up to her and gushed how lucky she was to have a 'perfect' guy like Zan and even though they were happy for Hermione, they were also envious. Harry occasionally joked about Zan (lack of Quidditch ability, frequently answering questions wrong in class even though he was in Ravenclaw) but Hermione could tell her best friend was happy too as he spoke with a goofy grin plastered across his face.

In contrast, Ron didn't have any sort of gleam in his eye, more like a bottomless pit of _carelessness._ Ron was neither happy for her nor worried for her. He just regarded her as another friend. Or regarded her as another person.

But then again Hermione wasn't sure how Zan became her boyfriend. Boyfriend. It was such a strange word for her because the first person (_not _Victor, that was more of a fling) she ever thought that could meet that term wasn't even her boyfriend. But Zan was.

It was different. Well…maybe Zan was just doing things a _boyfriend_ does; it wasn't exactly like she had a lot of experience (if any). Zan was always cherishing her; carrying her abnormal pile of books, always buying her expensive presents, respecting her two best friends (although Ron may no longer be that) – basically it was better than she ever dreamt. What happened to all those times girls would cry to her friends because a guy was treating them like a Weird Sister? It had never happened to Hermione. Was that normal?

As Hermione sighed in confusion, Zan had magically appeared next to her and swung a casual arm around her shoulder.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Hermione smiled honestly. Zan grinned back.

Hermione was sure she definitely _liked_ Zan but was that enough? She was normally a modest person so she was surprised to find herself thinking that Zan could like her more than she liked him. Would that be fair on him?

"Quidditch match today," Zan noted. "Ravenclaw against Gryffindor. Where do you stand, Gryffindor's Princess?"

Hermione smiled mock-innocently at his playful tone. She could never go wrong with him. He sometimes made her believe she was _perfect_.

"I'm sure a Gryffindor amongst a sea of blues will definitely attract attention not to mention the loathe I'll receive from my house," Hermione explained.

In parts, it really was a dilemma. She had never really cared for Quidditch; she just cared that her best friends cared. So every time she was found cheering in the Gryffindors' corner, she was mainly cheering for her best friends' happiness not because Gryffindor was winning or something. She wasn't really a sports person.

So, if she only cheered for her friends, shouldn't it only be fair if she cheered for Zan too?

"You choose to make all those people happy over my own happiness?" Zan teased. Hermione felt a painful pang at the truthfulness of his words. She should be over what people thought of her; there were more important matters in this world.

"I can adhere to your happiness in many ways," Hermione murmured seductively. She had the rewarding response of Zan tightening his grip around her.

As Zan was her boyfriend, of course she had kissed Zan before. Numerously, actually. It was pleasant; Hermione had found herself eliciting surprised gasps and even moans (which she would always blush at). She could tolerate them; it was just not…_explosive_ like it was with Draco.

Argh! She should really stop thinking about him. She was happy with Zan. Happy enough.

"Really?" Zan purred. "After the Quidditch match, you want to me meet me somewhere and prove how I matter to you as much as the Gryffindors?"

Hermione felt her breath hitch at his suggestion. Did she even want to do what Zan was possibly hinting? Was she ready?

Hermione then realised she was probably getting carried away. Zan hadn't even pestered her about sex yet. It was her call. Always her call.

"Always," Hermione whispered back and captured his lips with hers.

…………………………

"Your face will permanently look like that if you keep frowning," Blaise commented.

Draco scowled as Crabbe and Goyle guffawed. As soon as they caught the murderous expression on his face, they stopped.

Draco had to admit he had never thought so hard in his life. Hermione was getting on his nerves by hanging off Zan's arm practically every second of the day. Was she trying to make him jealous? He was practically oozing of jealousy, though he'll never admit it. Therefore, the frown lines etched into Draco's face was whether or not he should try the same game by grabbing a breathtaking girl by his side.

_No._ He would not sink to that sort of low to take _revenge_ of some sort. He was a better person than that. He would not show Hermione he was affected in any way. By getting hitched with a dark-haired wizard proved that she was never the girl he thought she was.

Pansy, that banshee-like witch, suddenly let out a shriek as the owls entered the hall to deliver any goods to the wizards and witches of Hogwarts.

"Seriously," Draco snapped, wrenching his arm away from Pansy as she dug her nails into his arms from her fright. "Can you stop being such a girl?"

Pansy released her vice-grip and levelled Draco's glare with a frosty expression of her own. These days not much surprised him so he was slightly startled that Pansy would even oppose to anything he did. Normally she would bend to his will that it was pathetic.

"In case you haven't noticed, I _am_ a girl," she said hotly. Her cheeks were slightly flushed and Draco could tell it was from agitation rather than pleasure.

"Of course I noticed," Draco said dryly. "I am straight. What I meant was, must you always scream at anything unexpected?"

Pansy scowled and Draco was once again surprised that she was continuing to retaliate.

"So I have to change who I am to please _you_ but you can always be wallowing in your self-pity and never opening up to those who are trying to help?"

Draco's eyes met hers in a dangerous glower. She had no idea what she was saying. No matter how many times Pansy thought _she_ was helping him, she definitely wasn't. The only person who ever helped had now ripped his heart out and left him soulless. "Cut it out," Blaise intercepted, acid dripping in his tone. "Don't you all realise these talks aren't fun for anyone? We are all who we are and we all know that since we've been friends for so long! There's no point trying to force the other into being something else. Draco, you've got a fancy mail, why don't you read it?"

Draco was glad his best friend was still wise and practical. Draco snatched the letter away from Crabbe and Goyle, who were both tossing it between them and giggling like girls.

"Stop being so pathetic," Draco snapped at those two, who immediately shrunk back in fear.

"It's who they are, don't try and change them," Pansy said rather loudly as she raised an eyebrow at Blaise. Clearly, she was trying to challenge him into saying some people must change for the better.

She really was pathetic.

Draco quickly opened the letter, ignoring pansy and focusing on a more important matter. He knew that the letter would be from his father. He already knew that the letter might be in code so no-one else except for him would know what it meant.

_Draco,_

_Of course there are those who are just as wise as Dumbledore. They include all the other teachers except the Herb and Divination teacher (those two are practically _useless_). Remember not to bother Snape for he is a family friend for so long. _He'll_ find you if he believes there's something that seeks your attention._

_If you want someone more your age, Harry Potter's friends are basically at the same level with Dumbledore. Not to mention the rest of the Gryffindors, who share the same charms as Potter. Yet, sometimes many questions are the way to give you what you want. However, don't waste your time with the Hufflepuffs; their existence to the world is barely acknowledged._

_But remember my son, don't overexert yourself. Take one step at a time._

_Your father,  
Lucius_

Draco scrunched up the letter in his hand and tossed it to the closest bin, which immediately turned the letter into the flames as the parchment touched the bottom of the enchanted item.

The basic translation of the letter was: If you want to kill more people, you can attempt to kill all the teachers (except Snape, the Herb and the Divination teacher) and all of Gryffindors. But the best result is to take these people as prisoners as torture was the best strategy.

Draco felt sick. Would he have asked for the same request if he hadn't been swept away by Hermione?

"Who was it from?" Blaise asked curiously.

"My father," Draco answered. "Nothing important."

His friends didn't implore him with any more questions but he could tell Pansy wanted to say something as she was fidgeting nervously.

The best approach was to ignore her.

……………………………………

"_I'm sorry!" Hermione whined as she tugged on Draco's arm. "I promise I won't laugh at you again!"_

_Draco turned to raise his eyebrows sceptically at her but as soon as she saw his face, she started to giggle again._

_Draco rolled his beautiful eyes and wrenched his arm away from her grasp._

"_I can repair your bed," Hermione offered sweetly. His response was a scowl._

_What happened just a few minutes ago was that Draco very excitedly jumped onto his bed because Hermione had placed something she found on his bed (a rare collector card of a famous Quidditch player). However, when he landed on the bed, the bed collapsed and the expression on his face (exhilaration quickly morphing into bewilderment) made Hermione burst into hysterical._

_Draco muttered a spell and the bed was soon upright._

"_Good work, Draco!" Hermione breathed. "That is a really hard Transfiguration spell."_

"_Complimenting me now does not repair the damage you did to my ego," Draco muttered, although he appeared to be in a better mood. Secretly, Hermione believed he adored compliments; especially those that did not regard his looks as he already 'knows' that._

"_You're talking to me again!" Hermione exclaimed happily and jumped into his arms. He didn't exactly push her off but he wasn't exactly holding her either. "You do realise I haven't laughed this much in a long time, right? And I don't mean the last two minutes but this last two months."_

_She pulled back the slightest so she can stare into his silver eyes. He was staring back amusingly._

"_I never knew I could be such a clown," he said sarcastically and finally wrapping his arms around her._

"_Neither did I," Hermione replied, her smile widening. "A cute one too."_

_Draco's eyebrows shot up but Hermione kissed him anyway. She couldn't help herself. He returned the kiss with pleasure but pulled back earlier than normal._

"_Draco Malfoy _cute_? I thought I was _hot_," he said, sounding almost disgusted. So that was what was holding him back from ravaging her without a thought. He was worrying whether he was _cute.

"_Gorgeous," Hermione concluded, trying to pull his head back down onto hers. This time he complied, answering with so much ferocity that she couldn't pull away if she tried..._

* * *

"Stop," Hermione gasped, trying to wrench away from Zan's arms. It was useless; it felt like she was clawing at steel.

Ravenclaw had lost the match and though Zan looked furious on the pitch, Hermione hadn't thought much of it when she agreed to meet him at the Astronomy Tower after the match. But the aftermath of losing was in Zan's actions as he tried to tear off Hermione's clothes. He was doing a much better job of removing her clothes than her keeping them on.

"Please..." Hermione begged in a choked whisper, as his hands grabbed at any part of her flesh he could find. Hermione was basically pinned to the wall and her wand was pressed inside her robe. She feared he would break it, the way he was crushing her but not as much as she feared him taking off the robe...

"Why?" Zan snarled as he bit into her neck. Hermione moaned and it wasn't in pleasure, it was in pain. "You want this, don't you? Prove how much I mean to you."

But even since he had attacked her in a way like this, she felt nothing to him. Only anger and fear. Mostly fear.

Zan's strong hands were pushing the robe off her shoulders and that's when Hermione seized the small opportunity. She freed her right knee and jabbed it up; aiming in-between his legs. She wasn't sure whether she connected or not but she heard him take in a short gasp of air. Then with her right arm, she thrust her palm up his jaw and there was a satisfying smack as bone collided with bone.

As Zan moved back to clutch his jaw, Hermione drew out her wand and shrieked a spell so that he instantly fell asleep. Normally Hermione would feel guilty but right now she felt nothing but the need to get away from him as quick as possible.

She scurried down the flight of stairs, not sure where to go. Back to the dorms, when she knew right now that she could not talk to any one of them. How could she lie under their worried eyes?

But all that was put on hold when she came face-to-face with Draco Malfoy. He seemed as shocked as she was at finally_ seeing_ him; not from a far distance but only a metre away.

All her worries evaporated as she drank in the sight of him, realising how much she really missed him and how he can never be replaced. He was still arrogantly handsome but there were slight dark bags under his eyes, as if he hadn't had enough sleep. His skin also seemed paler, as if he no longer walked out in the sunlight and his frame seemed thinner, as if he hadn't eaten.

What was most alarming was how his steel eyes morphed from shock to horror.

"What...happened?" he asked, almost hoarsely.

For a moment Hermione had no idea what he was talking about until she realised he was looking at her from head to toe. Not the way a boy would look at you as if he was checking you out, but in a way as to figure out _what happened_.

Quickly composing herself, Hermione straightened her clothes and swept a hand under her eyes in case any tears had escaped.

"Nothing," she replied but her voice was a little too high. She wondered if he could detect her lie but as she saw his eyes remain flat, she knew he was not convinced.

"What happened?" he demanded again, this time his voice holding an edge of anger.

Standing there with Draco so close seemed to make her fear vanish. What happened only a few minutes before seemed insignificant because what really mattered was Draco himself. His fears became her fears, his happiness became hers – all this would always be placed upon hers.

So why should she still be shaken over something that she had taken care of when _Draco_ was right here.

"Nothing," she replied once again and this time her voice did not betray her. Because she was no longer scared. The only thing she can be scared of was for Draco.

"I'm not stupid," he hissed. "It's the duty of the prefects to take care of students."

But somehow, like always, he could easily make her angry.

"Don't even pretend to care _now_ when it was only a few weeks ago when it actually mattered! I didn't need you then, Malfoy, so I don't need you now!" Hermione hissed back.

Ignoring his stony figure, his rigid face matching his pose, Hermione stormed past him.

It didn't matter if she still loved him fervently; she already knew he didn't love her. And she wasn't going to complicate his life once again by being a potential love interest. No, she loved him and she had to let him go. It was the only way that made sense, the only way he could be guaranteed happiness and of course, his happiness meant her happiness. 


	8. The Only One Who Ever Hurt You

Note: I'm extremely sorry it takes me a really long time to upload, but this is not an abandoned story. Also, reviews are a great motivation boost! (:

**Chapter Seven:: The Only One Who Ever Hurt You**

Every part of Draco Malfoy was screaming. But every part of him was screaming a different response. Most parts were screaming for him to run after Hermione and hold her hostage until she confessed what _really_ happened but that small part –that damn idiotic pride of his – kept him glued to the spot.

She had already stripped him of all that his was worth and he would not give her the satisfaction of stripping his one last pride.

He had other means to find the cause of her distress. Such as heading in the direction she ran from. Draco wanted to scurry, _run_ to wherever _she_ ran from but Malfoys don't hurry. He had to keep some dignity as well, ensure he was still a Malfoy at the end of the night. Hermione had already confused him so much with her charm that sometimes he wasn't even sure whether he was a Malfoy anymore. Sometimes he thought he was just simply _hers._

Shaking his head at those thoughts, Draco strolled in the direction she came hurtling out of. With each step he took, he realised he was heading to the Astronomy Tower. Something inside him was clenching hard and his breaths were coming out in short hisses. You could still be a Hufflepuff and know that the Astronomy Tower was where people go to have a heavy make-out session, if not more.

Clenching his teeth in anticipation, Draco blasted opened the door, playing over any possible outcomes he could face. The best possibility was if _no one_ was in the Astronomy Tower.

His breath came out in a whoosh as he saw Frederick Zannard sprawled across the floor, face-down and blood oozing from the corner of his lips.

You could still be a mere Squib and know that Hermione was with _him_ before she came scurrying out, fear and distraught written all over her pretty features.

Draco wanted to _kill_ him. He wasn't sure what Zan did, wasn't sure if he _wanted_ to know what Zan did because there was no way Zan did something pleasant to send Hermione away like that.

Cautiously, for Zan's sake as Draco wanted to whisper that two-worked spell, Draco etched closer holding the wand menacingly in his trembling hand.

On closer inspections, this waste of a life was fast asleep. He was even snoring slightly.

The anger and fury was still in his body but this time, there was confusion as well. Did Zan fall asleep and that's why Hermione was mad? Or was it…something else? What he feared most? He stopped his brain from envisioning those images of Zan advancing on Hermione, because if he kept those up, Zan would be dead, regardless of whether he was innocent or guilty.

Impatience also entering his body, Draco kicked at Zan. He didn't feel like being polite and wakening him up in a pleasant matter. That Ravenclaw was lucky Draco didn't repeatedly bang his foot into his body.

"Wake up," Draco snarled leaning down to look at that face. Despite how Draco was straight and how he hated everyone who wasn't Slytherin (Hermione excluded), he had to admit Frederick Zannard was very good-looking.

Draco wanted to slap that face until it was distorted into ugly features but well, _boys_ do not slap. Perhaps a foot to the face will help?

Instead, lucky for Zan once again, Draco prodded that all too good-looking face with his wand sharply. Frowning when the Ravenclaw continued to snore, Draco repeated the action even when there was fire hissing at the end of his wand.

Then Draco remembered something, which was surprising since he hardly paid attention in class. If a victim was subjected to sleep by a spell, it would last two hours if the anti-spell was not cast.

Draco muttered the counter-spell for the sleeping spell, knowing it would be inactive if Zan fell asleep due to other means. But Zan mumbled something unintelligent and started to stir, which confirmed Draco's fear that someone did indeed put Zan to sleep. And that person was most likely Hermione Granger.

"What are you doing here, unconsciously staining the floors with your blood?" Draco hissed, pointing his wand warningly at his chest. He didn't want to give Zan any time to regain his thoughts, sometimes people said the most interesting things when incoherent.

"Whaa…? Where's Mione?" Zan groaned attempting to sit upright but could not proceed with Draco's wand still in the same threatening position.

As soon as Draco heard Hermione's name, his control snapped. Hermione wouldn't have left in such disarray nor put Zan to sleep (she had to be the last person to see him, right? Or else he wouldn't have said her name…) and _no-one_ was allowed to hurt Hermione. Except Draco and although he was technically 'hurting' her, it was more protecting her life.

"Stay the hell away from Hermione," Draco snarled pushing the wand into Zan's chest so he was forced to lie down.

"Malfoy?" Zan asked, still looking disorientated. "What are you doing here? Did you take her?"

"I know what happened," Draco hissed ignoring his questions. He saw Zan wince as the fire erupting from the end of his wand hit his chest. "I vow it would be best for your life if you don't do anything like that again."

"Let me up, would you?" Zan growled, reaching into his robe for his wand but Draco moved his wand to follow his hand's direction.

"Stay away from her, this is your last warning," Draco hissed once again, trailing his wand slightly over Zan's hand so he could feel the fire from the tip of the wand. "Don't make me warn you again."

And with that final warning, Draco left. He wasn't sure whether he could keep his control in contact if he remained and he was certain Hogwarts wasn't ready for a murder just yet.

….

Hermione knew she couldn't stay in her dorm forever but how could she leave and face everyone? She didn't want to see anyone, especially Zan or Draco.

Merlin, why did Draco have to be a prefect too? All the prefects stayed in an area specifically built for them and Quidditch Captains, and a dormitory was occupied by the prefects of the same year level (girls and boys separate, of course). Draco could be waiting in the common room…well not _waiting_ for her but could be sitting there enjoying the luxury of the Prefect Common Room. So it was logical that Hermione wanted to stay in her room and not leave in case she saw him.

With a sigh, Hermione decided to pack her things into her suitcase. To take up time, she wasn't using spells but the old-fashioned way. It was time to move back to the Gryffindor quarters despite the better furnishings of the Prefect quarters.

When her possessions were _very_ nearly packed (thus taking up more time to arrange her belongings), Hermione left her dorm with her suitcase behind her. She used magic to force her suitcase to follow her lead as she did not want someone asking whether she needed help carrying the heavy load.

She ignored the Seven Years murmuring in tight circles when they witnessed her departure. After years hanging around with Harry, Hermione had adapted to rumours. It was confrontations that would be her undoing.

Despite how Hermione wanted to waste as much time as possible packing her belongings, now she wanted to head to the Gryffindor quarters as quick as possible. But that was a downside to that: the quickest path was where most people walked. If she used the deserted paths, it would at least half an hour (sometimes Hogwarts was too big) and using magic on something that heavy was starting to drain her.

Taking another deep sigh, Hermione decided to take the quickest path hoping that if she had to see anyone, it would be Harry or Ron. Those two wouldn't pester her too much and Draco would not approach her if she was with them.

Of course with her thoughts always preoccupied on Draco, she forgot about Zan. Who seemed to materialise right in front of her.

The first thing Hermione registered was fear that seemed to choke her from breathing and the rapid beating of her heart. But soon the fear diminished and all that remained was her anger. She had her wand and that was nothing Zan could do to her that she didn't want either.

Even if he was looking at her with large puppy eyes filled with regret, guilty and pain.

"Hermione," he breathed and his voice sounded tortured. "I am so sorry, I don't know what overcame me. It was the loss in Quidditch and I've been feeling so inadequate…Please…forgive me."

Hermione knew she was a compassionate person, everyone knew that. But compassion does have limits and it most certainly can meet compromise.

"I can forgive you Zan but…we can't be what we were, I _need_ time," Hermione affirmed and she knew she failed at trying to cover the tremor from her voice.

Zan took a step with his long arms outstretched – as if to grab her – and Hermione reflexively took a step back. Anger flitted his brown eyes before it settled back on pain.

"There's no point in forgiving me if we can't go back to what we were, what we _are_. I admit I slipped up but it was the first, let's just forget about it," Zan pleaded.

Hermione shook her head fervently, aware that she was gripping her wand (that was hidden beneath her robes) so tightly that her knuckles were sore.

"I can't and I'm sorry. Maybe some time in the future, I need time, I can't just forget something like that," Hermione tried to reason but it sounded like a beg to her ears.

She had never been afraid of guys before; she didn't believe those stories about men overpowering women because she honestly thought that she would be able to dispel them with her wand. But last night…she felt like a victim and she had forgotten about that with thoughts about seeing Draco, _always_ Draco. But now, being with Zan, she remembered _everything_ he did and how she felt helpless and fear. She'd never forget what Zan did to her, how she thought he would take her without her will.

"Bye, Zan," she whispered pulling at the luggage and trying to walk pass him. Her other hand was still locked tightly around her wand.

Fear consumed her body when he snaked out a hand to tightly grip her upper arm, knowingly or not grabbing the arm which held the wand. She had been too afraid last night to inspect her body because she knew there would be bruises and now she was certain she'd have more.

"Let go of me," Hermione said firmly despite her shaking form.

"Don't act like you're all innocent and perfect," Zan hissed, tightening his grip so that she yelped in pain. "I know about you and _him._ Why else would he corner me? Why would he care? So _don't _pretend you're the perfect best friend to the infamous Harry Potter when you're sleeping with the enemy."

Colour drained from Hermione's face as his words lashed out. He didn't name the person he was talking about but Hermione had a feeling she knew who. She always jumped to the worst conclusions because if she could face _that_ outcome, she could face the conclusions that weren't the worst.

"Who are you talking about?" Hermione asked attempting to look confused and disgusted but probably appearing scared instead. Which would be understandable in her condition.

"You just want to hear his name, don't you?" Zan continued to hiss bending his head closer to hers. Hermione flinched and tried to squirm away but his hand trapped her. "Draco Malfoy. I'll find out what's going on between the two of you, I _promise_ you that, you filthy teasing Mudblood."

With that, he growled and let go of her arm storming past her. His cloak sweeping past him send wind blowing through Hermione but that was not the reason why Hermione was still numb with cold.

He _knew._ How did he know? That accusation could not be out of the whim because no-one would ever conjure up a thought of Hermione being in a relationship with Draco. If he exposed their secret relationship, Hermione could already imagine the consequences. Harry and Ron, both incredulous and disgusted. Her best friends feeling betrayed because she could not confess to them her sins, when the three of them used to share everything.

Then there was always Draco himself. She could already envision him being disowned by his parents because he mingled with Muggle-borns and being an outcast with the Slytherins. But the worst that could happen to her was if Draco disregarded the exposure, not acknowledging what they had, and side with Zan calling her all those names.

Hermione closed her eyes against the tears that were becoming all too familiar with her. How did this all happen to her? She thought love was supposed to bring happiness, closure, warmth. Instead it seemed like each time she thought of him, another dagger slashed at her heart so soon she'd have no heart left. Lose the ability to love.

But then she recalled something Zan said, which was forgotten when she was afraid of his suspicion and his hand on her body. He had said _Draco_ cornered him. What did that mean? Draco couldn't have told Zan about their relationship or else Zan would not attempt to find out the truth. Did he threaten Zan? _What_ did he do to make Zan so suspicious?

Fury enveloped Hermione once again when she thought of Draco's reckless behaviour. But that small, always loyal part to him, whispered something to her that ease some of her constant pain; it seemed to answer Zan's rhetorical question.

_Perhaps Draco Malfoy cared after all._


End file.
